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- Domination is boring. (Issue #8)
Domination is boring. (Issue #8)
... or is it?
Chris Musei-Sequeira
December 20, 2024
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This is a story... but maybe not the story you're expecting.
This is not the story of two well-known White male "sustainability leaders" who tore down two women of color in front of all their LinkedIn followers.
This is not the story of those two women of color, also leaders in their respective domains.
This is not even the story of "race, race, race, and by the way did I say race?!" -- though I believe racialization is absolutely relevant.
No.
This is the story of domination.
Such as:
How dare you question me. I'm the smart one here, and everyone knows it.
Do you know who I am? You're nothing compared to me.
Fix the hurt you caused me right now or I will destroy you so severely, you'll pay me for the privilege.
I wrote a version of this article for LinkedIn several months ago, and I was so grateful for the many people (all women!) who commented on it. I responded, I learned, and then I set the topic of domination aside.
Then Assad fell in Syria… which brought domination back to my mind in a big way. I’ll get to that later.
The "sustainability leader" part 1
Several years ago I witnessed a White male "sustainability leader" tear down a woman of color in response to a LinkedIn comment she made. His message was so severe, so unnecessary, it took my breath away.
I still remember the putrid, disgusting length of it.
And I remember its key themes:
You keep coming around and kicking dirt at me and I'm really sick of it.
You're the only one criticizing me so maybe check yourself?
All my besties feel the same way about you so I'm not crazy...
He could have said all that in a private message. Or, he could have deleted her comment and used the block button... like a well-adjusted adult member of society?
Instead, he chose to dominate... and do so a way that his thousands of followers would see on their own LinkedIn feeds.
I "promoted" that man to my block list, and I will never do business with him.
"But Chris, he's a leader in his field”—oh come on now. I live in New York City; I can toss a feather from any window in the five boroughs and hit a toxic "leader" pretending to do good. Many of you around the world could do the same with “leaders” in your own towns.
That man's not a real leader. He's ordinary.
Replaceable. Substitutable. Boring.
The "sustainability leader" part 2
Earlier this year I witnessed a woman of color post her appreciation for the work of a White man within the sustainability sector, while adding that his work still manifested colonial patterns. That man came to the comment section and said, paraphrased: "If you think my work is colonial, you have no idea who I am!"
Not, "I'm surprised to read this from you; could you share more?" Not, "Thank you for this perspective; maybe I have more learning to do." No, not any of that.
Instead: "You have no idea who I am!"
Instead: "King Kong ain't got sh!t on me!"
Yeah, I "promoted" that man to my block list, and I will never do business with him.
"But Chris, he's a leader in his field”—yeah no he isn’t. He's ordinary.
Replaceable. Substitutable. Boring.
The irony
Now it's time for me to share a plot twist with you:
The two women of color I discussed above are also on my block list.
Ironic, huh?
Actually, it's not ironic at all. It's consistent. Like I said: this is not the story of "race, race, race, and by the way did I say race?!"
No.
This is the story of domination.
Such as:
How dare you question me. I'm the smart one here, and everyone knows it.
Do you know who I am? You're nothing compared to me.
Fix the hurt you caused me right now or I will destroy you so severely, you'll pay me for the privilege.
I wrote the following words in the first version of this article, which I posted on LinkedIn:
Here's the real irony:
My block list itself.
That cuddly, lovable little digital trash can that certain people go into and never come out of. It's a list of people I've erased from my life. And erasure is a form of domination, is it not? Indeed, it might even be the pinnacle...
That got a big reaction from the people who responded (again, all women). Here’s an excerpt from the most enlightening message… and I’m keeping the author anonymous for her own safety:
While I appreciate you turning the lens on yourself, I do think the behavior of blocking is one of those instances in which identity politics matters a lot. For women — and especially women of color — who are routinely stalked, harassed, and threatened on this platform, it’s essential to their safety. While it’s a shame that any of us has to engage in patriarchal behavior, the fault lies in the structures of domination that govern our lives, not in the individuals who engage in the behavior to keep themselves safe.
When I read that, I looked up from my computer screen and thought: “You know, over my 15 years on LinkedIn, I’ve never been stalked, harassed, or threatened. Not once.”
I was embarrassed to realize that I was completely unaware of the privilege I have just for presenting as a man, despite my Black face. This realization brought even more questions to my mind:
Who has the privilege to act like a child and get rewarded for their shite behavior?
Who has the privilege to say, “Stop! You’re hurting me!” and receive praise and compassion for displaying vulnerability?
And… who has the disadvantage of being harassed and violated just for existing, no matter what they say or don’t say?
I’ll be sitting with these questions for a long time.
Domination.
It's not just toxic.
It's not just violent.
It's not just White-supremacist.
It's not just colonial.
It's not just patriarchal.
It's boring.
Surely we can do better than to dominate others. Surely we have more creativity, more compassion, more consciousness. Surely?
Well… who is “we”?
That brings me back to the fall of Assad in Syria, which happened less than two weeks ago. I recently heard a quote that went roughly like this:
Don’t look at the chess board. Look at the players.
Timely quote, because I lost a round of chess to a ten-year-old boy just last Saturday.
So I tried to read about the numerous “actors” in Syria and their motivations while also trying to determine which readings to trust. And that’s when it hit me:
There are people having fun with this whole geopolitics thing. There are people laughing at mass death, right now. For those people, domination isn’t boring; it’s the greatest game on earth.
The feelings that came over me are feelings I wouldn’t wish on anyone.
But I refuse to despair. I wrote about the inherently political nature of categorization just the other day, and I’ll be playing around with the word “we” even more in 2025. Which “people” are “my people,” and how can I support them? How might that category morph over time? And: what does it look like to have compassion toward people who will never have compassion for me?
Now here are my questions for you
Where do you see domination showing up in your life?
Where do you see yourself as the dominated... and where do you see yourself as the dominator? How have those two categories changed shape over time?
Think about your block list—if you have one. When you throw the words "domination" and "safety" into a blender and press the "Start" button, what do you see emerging?
Hit “Reply” in your email app and let me know. I’d love to learn from you.
Where to find the sustainability perspectives you’ve been missing
FIRST: Subscribe to the “We Are LaCH” podcast, where friends Heather Luna and Lavinia Muth and I host discussions on power and oppression — particularly in the context of the sustainability industry.
SECOND: Follow on LinkedIn:
Heather Luna of keduzi: workshopping pro-connectedness and anti-oppression as a way of life
Lavinia Muth: deconstructing the (un)sustainable fashion industry
Dr. Vidhya Shankar, Ph.D: decentering whiteness in evaluation of non-governmental organization projects
THIRD: Forward this issue to people you know in the sustainability industry — they’ll probably say a thing or two in response!
Got something to say to me?
I’m Chris, the Principal of CJSC, LLC, and I’m (un)learning along with all of you — so hit the “reply” button and give me a piece of your mind!
Know someone who needs to see this issue? Hit the “Forward” button in your email app and send this to them.
My position
My name is Chris Musei-Sequeira, and I use he/him pronouns. My mother was born in Trinidad and Tobago as a descendant of African slaves brought to the islands during the time of European colonization. She came to the United States of America (USA) at the age of 10. My father is Goan and was born in India, in Mumbai, and raised Catholic and English-speaking. He came to the USA for his graduate studies, where he met my mother.
My sister and I were born in the USA and lived a middle-class life in the suburbs of multiple American cities. I studied aeronautical engineering and technology policy in university, then worked at the Federal Aviation Administration and as an aviation consultant. I've lived in cities up and down the USA East Coast since the age of 18; I now reside in Queens, New York with my wife.
I thank Heather Luna and Lavinia Muth for showing me the importance of publicly expressing our positions. Because of our positions, all of us are very familiar with some aspects of the world while having no idea of other aspects. Positionality expresses how our individual positions affect our relationships with other people and with the world as a whole.
Introductory image: Page title: "Display of might". BARKSDALE AIR FORCE BASE, La. (AFPN) -- Munitions on display show the full capabilities of the B-52 Stratofortress. PHOTO BY: Tech. Sgt. Robert J. Horstman. VIRIN: 060202-F-6809H-100. Last accessed December 20, 2024 from https://www.af.mil/News/Photos/igphoto/2000568331/